i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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