Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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