You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
