dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We had sex on a dog bed..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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