Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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