Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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