Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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