I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize