And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And then he peed in my hair
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