I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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