I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
