I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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