u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize