Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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