I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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