Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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