I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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