How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You are the jesus of drinking
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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