Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
