Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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