She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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