I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
