I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
