she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
