Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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