turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Damn victory sex feels great
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
