I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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