Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He shit in the fireplace
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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