my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
