420 ftw
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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