His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
