IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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