i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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