Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
