just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
