Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
