No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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