there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
