I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
