I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
