I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
