Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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