Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize