wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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