I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's rum buckets o'clock
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
