ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
