I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
