Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
