I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
