At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
