They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
