roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
