It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Houston, we have a squirter
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize