I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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