So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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