i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
