If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
