on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
